The time has come…the memories on my Facebook have started replaying some of our worst days we have gone through, 4 years ago.
Thursday started off with the post sharing that we had just done (what we thought at the time) one of the hardest thing as a parent, sending our baby boy on a life flight helicopter and being told their was no extra room for one of us to go with him.
Then the desperate posts. Where we were frustrated, exhausted, scared to death…just wanting answers and still so many unknowns.
The sad pictures where Carter just looked so sick, was hooked to monitors and IVs, and so, so many tests.
And yet, this is just the first hospital admission of memories I’m seeing. Over the next two months they will only get worse. Being rushed to the PICU, hooked to more machines and IV’s than I ever knew possible, many more tests, multiple surgeries, even more unknowns and not knowing what was to come. Ultimately, making phone calls to family and using a FB post to share that Carter received his ultimate healing and was with Jesus.
Only to come home, without our baby boy to start planning his final services. To have to share with our daughter that her brother wasn’t with us anymore, that Jesus called him to Heaven with him.
So the next couple months will be that battle within myself of do I look at those memories and feel that horrible pain and emotion all over, that brings back some of my worst flashbacks? Do I look to focus on the positive and see all the support,encouragement and prayers we had lifiting up our family? Do I not look all together and just try to focus on the good memories I have, even though those bad times are such a huge part of our story and are still always there?
I’m sure it will be the same as all the past years.. I will still continue to look and each day it may hit me a little different.
When I think back on all that has come from Carter’s life, aside from his Kingdom Building list being at the top, I believe the work that has been done to raise money for Mitochondrial Disease Research has turned into an amazing testimony of his.
This past December we hosted our 4th annual Carter’s Christmas. We were so thankful to be able to go back to the Sayre Elks club this year and work with their event team. They did an amazing job at remodeling their facility after their recent fire. Everything was beautiful, nicely redone, and very tastefully decorated. Their staff was very helpful and willing to help accommodate all of our needs . As always, there food was delicious. We can not recommend them enough for all of your event needs!
This year we brought back all of the same things everyone enjoyed previously. Over 30 craft and direct sale vendors, Chinese auction, 50/50, free pictures with Santa, face painting, The Balloon Man, memorial ornaments, bake sale and the toy drive.
We decided to work with the Danville, PA Ronald McDonald house again, whom we donated all the toys to from the annual toy drive. While visiting with the RMH director, we were told again that just like all the previous years, their rooms were staying consistently full.
Once a family would leave, that room would be needed within the day by another family. Unfortunately there were often many nights that they simply had no more rooms, but yet still several families who were in need of one. Thankfully, a local hotel right near the hospital campus was working with the Ronald McDonald house, to fulfill those needs.
The house was extremely thankful again for our generous donations. She said they are so blessed by us each year by providing them with an abundance amount of gifts and items that are so very much needed. With our donations, they are able to finish off their Christmas gifting, as well as, use some of it for other holidays throughout the year.
I know I say this every year, but as a parent that has been on the receiving end of those donations during Easter while Carter was admitted, it meant so much to us. It was nice to have something to make us smile and be able to feel a small amount of “normal” during the holiday, when Alayna had come to visit us. Because trust me, even the siblings of a sick child need something to smile about and feel like things are going to be okay.
So thank you. Thank you to everyone who donated toys to give to this amazing organization. Thank you to everyone who came by our event and continues to show their support to our fund and family every year. Thank you for all of your very generous donations that go towards research in honor of our son. With all of your help, we raised a total of $2,998.12! I mailed out this check pictured below, plus an additional $550.00 that was donated directly through his website.
With that being said, just from our Carter’s Christmas event……WE HIT OUR GOAL OF $20,000.00 AND WILL BE FUNDING OUR 2ND RESEARCH PROJECT!!
We couldn’t have done it without YOUR help and we are so extremely thankful and honored. We know that research is what is needed for there to be any possibility of a treatment and cure of Mitochondrial Diseases. We are so honored to be able to potentially give some hope to families, in memory of our son Carter, thanks to all of you! ❤ THANK YOU!! ❤
Since then, unfortunately my father-in-law passed away unexpectedly. The family felt that his wishes would of been lieu of flowers, to have donations made to Carter’s Research Fund instead. We received an additional 6 generous donations in memory of Steven Lackey, Carter’s grandfather. Making our grand total raised $20,647.00. I’m sure that both Carter and Steve would be so very proud and honored and we can’t thank you all enough!! ❤
With everything we have been through, it is so easy for us to panic and worry about the future. All of the flashbacks we have with Carter, are still there regardless of the Facebook memories showing me. I’m sure they will forever and always be there. That is just a huge part of our story.
With our new baby boy due to come into our lives very soon, there have been many times I have had to stop myself from overthinking things and tell myself that everything is going to be perfect. I have to remind myself that we know this baby is healthy, that this baby is never ever going to replace Carter, but will for sure grow up knowing him the best he possibly can.
In the nursery, part of our theme is arrows. I came across this image the other day and felt it was very fitting for where we are in life right now.
“An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, just imagine that it’s going to launch you into something great.”
We have been through a lot to get to where we are now. It has been far from an easy journey. Everything from dealing with the loss of Carter, to wanting another healthy child, the process of IVF and going through genetic testing again. Scary and trying times through it all, on top of normal every day life.
In the days ahead, our family is about to be starting another great adventure. We will be welcoming this little one into our lives, this precious gift we have been given. A chance for our family to continue to press forward, have more joy in our lives and another blessing to love. Forever keeping Carter apart of our family, his testimony alive and working towards HOPE for other families because of him ❤
James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
Blessings,
The Lackey Family ❤
Carter Lackey's Testimony 